Manners

Someone on plurk posted a request recently for a list of positive lunchroom behaviors. Isn't that a constant battle in schools? There is so little time for lunch, that you wouldn't expect things to go badly in such a short period of time, but it often does. Behavior seems to go right down the tubes for a lot of kids when food and friends are in the same space. Why is that?

Our school is not typical. I teach at a very small school of only 92 students, kindergarten through fifth grade. Our kindergarteners are only at school for half a day, so at lunch, we have fewer than 80 students present. Another thing that is unique to our school is that we eat family style. Each person at lunch has a plate, silverware and a napkin. Bowls and platters of food are at each table, and everyone passes the food and serves him or herself. There are requirements for what foods must be on each plate, of course, but there is a bit of leeway that allows for trying new foods without a major commitment.

We have been doing lunch this way for more than ten years, but still struggle some with appropriate behavior at the table. Or secretary read the book The Essential 55 by Ron Clark and formulated a list of manners based on that book.

• When you first sit down for a meal, immediately place your napkin in your lap. If your silverware is wrapped in a napkin, unwrap it as soon as you sit down and place the napkin in your lap.
• Never place your elbows on the table.
• Use one hand to eat, unless you are cutting or buttering food. Never have your fork in one hand and a glass in the other.
• Do not lick your fingers or use any part of your shirt as a napkin. There is a napkin provided for the purpose of cleaning your fingers and face. There is no need to lick yourself clean.
• Do not smack your lips and chew noisily.
• Do not chew with your mouth open.
• Do not talk with your mouth full. Sometimes people will place a hand over their mouth and talk anyway. Don't do that. Wait until you have swallowed your food to speak.
• Do not slurp.
• Do not play with your food.
• You are to use your utensils for eating almost everything. Here are eight types of foods you may use your hands to eat:
• pizza
• cookies
• bread
• corn on the cob
• hot dogs, hamburgers and sandwiches
• french fries and chips
• fried chicken
• small fruits (like grapes on a stem), apples, oranges, carrots, etc.
• Never reach over someone's plate to get something. You should say, "Will you please pass the bowl of potatoes?"
• You should never complain if you do not like the food or if there is a wait.
• When you are finished eating, ask to be excused.
• It is always polite to think the cook for preparing your meal.
• When it is time to leave, remember to WALK down the hall.

Does each child manage to follow these guidelines of etiquette exactly? I wish! It is amazing what sticks with them, though. Some students have to be reminded constantly to keep their elbows off the table and use a napkin, but they always stop and thank the cook for making a nice meal for them. Some children consistently reach over others for food, but always remember to put their napkins in their laps.

Every day is a learning experience. We keep plugging along, reminding students (and sometimes teachers) to use their best manners, and we do see progress. I hope our efforts to improve manners at lunch will help you do the same thing at your school!